Two questions for you all today:
1) When you
Do you be the bigger person (fat lot of good THAT does to you) and tell that that what they did was good or do you just let it slide by for either way, it's not going to make a difference in either your life or theirs; just the satisfaction of having given a heart-felt compliment and made them feel good for a second.
What do you do?
2) When you are about to do something that you are not sure of, what do you do to convince yourself? Or do you just not do it.
Note: The pros and cons have already be weighed and the former are wayyyy more than the latter; this is just to get rid of that nagging feeling.
Answer these un-philosophically for me? Please?
P.S: "Chodya chinnam" is Malayalam for question mark.
P.P.S: I'm off to bed at TEN frikkin' P.M for I haven't slept in two days. Reason? I was too busy watching Fringe and Russell Peters: The Green Card Tour. If you haven't, go download now. Both.
1) Well if I HATE someone so bad, maybe I would ignore it but then again I have complimented many...I mean it makes me feel light from within and the sense of having done what i wanted feels good :)
ReplyDelete2)I do it anyway. I mean how bad can it get??
Now it's your call babe..Good luck! I hope my utharam to the chodyam is okay :)
Well, as far as am concerned, even if the person's my archenemy , If they have a talent , if they do well , they deserve appreciation. And there's no point in ignoring it. I'd be good enough to congratulate them and push off from there :P
ReplyDelete@ cs, hate is not the word, despise is. Different feelings, no? But yeah, I'm leaning towards that myself:)
ReplyDelete2) THANKYOU!!:D
They help, thank you:)
@ AnjLi, seems like the right thing to do but won't it be fake?
Well lets see if I can do this without getting philosophical.
ReplyDelete1. I would recognise they had done something good, and commend them for that, but I don't think it would be too likely to erase their past, or change my opinion of them. I would admit they had done something good, but that doesn't mean I have to change how I feel about them.
2. Usually I spend more time thinking than doing. Even when I've totally made up my mind to do something, I find myself questioning the decision right up until it's too late. I just typically have to force myself to do it.
The pure evil does not exist, at least not in my world. People are capable of good and bad. So when people I truly despise actually do something good, I can't help but appreciate them for it.
ReplyDeleteI just convince myself by thinking, whatever decision I take, I will be the one to take the complete responsibility of the reactions of those actions. Now whether they are good or bad, only time will tell.
Stay Blessed ^_^
@PeeVee - Well, in time I have taught myself to repeat in my mind, "The game is on, And its his/her call today" :P Then again, my congrats aren't fake. I just think they deserve to be told that they are good , if I really think they are. Also , if the nemesis aint competent whats the fun ? So lead them on to keep the war going !! :D
ReplyDeleteok!
ReplyDeleteI am very harsh when it comes to forgiving someone and getting over something someone did. I at times even stop talking, without explaining and even if they do some good, I totally ignore because that's more like *what, now you sugar coat it all the more*? I have only forgiven one friend of mine and that too because he apologized after years....But then, there are some friends, who even if kill someone, I wouldn't stop caring about. I wonder how my mind works :(
Errr! I stay confused for a decade and then I do it :D
1)Compliment them because you arent them and shouldnt ever loose your charming persona. You never know, the person who hurt you or did wrong to you might be feeling rally guilty about it but nevercould face you and say a sorry. Or maybe they did not think you will take it to heart. Or maybe they are really cruel people.But you are not them :)
ReplyDelete2)If even after weighing the pros and cons, the former wins...go for it!
question mark on both the questions! No clue what to do! :P
ReplyDeleteI would compliment them. A rivalry, bitter or 'time-pass' are on their end, but a talent is a talent. Cannot be ignored. Got to appreciate someone when they have it. No point in not acknowledging them for the wonderful piece they have written or the flexible way in which they have danced or..whatever..you get the point :P!!They would stick on to their talent and you would stick on to your anger!
ReplyDeleteSecond one, try going on for it. Risks are a part of life, right??!!
From the beginning :
ReplyDeleteSounds awkward but "hate" doesn't exist in my dictionary :P . I may say that i DISLIKE someone but i won't ever hate anyone even for the biggest unbearable reason.
When i dislike someone i reduce the frequency of interaction. sometimes i ignore(to make myself happy) while other times if i get a chance to appreciate/help that person i never step back(turn my emotions off) so that later(at any moment in life) i won't regret.
Remember that :
You bother only about two kind of people -
1) you love 2) you hate
And both the categories are close to your heart.
But i just put people in third category "dislike" saying "you are not worthy of my attention and i treat you like i treat normal people i meet, i help you or appreciate you as i do to them"
Uncertainty arises when my head and heart choose different track to follow. I often look for practical reasons and maximum times go with my mum's(best friend) advice in life. :)
Alright, I will be honest here. If I despise someone and if the person does something that is commendable, I would go ahead and tell him/her that but I sure will have an itch deep down. As a matter of fact, I'm not forgiving. I'm human and I like to be this way:)
ReplyDeleteWhen I'm not sure of doing something and have to convince myself for it, I just go ahead and do it.
One simple funda - It is best to do and regret than not try at all :)
I would say, you go ahead and compliment, it might change the dimensions a bit, it may not, either way, this is not gonna hurt... :D
ReplyDeleteBlessed Be! :D :D
Right. First let me think of someone I despise...
ReplyDelete1) I'd be raging actually. Why should this person who gave me so much grief deserve to do well or get prises? I don't care about being the bigger person.
2) I just go over the pros in my mind again, ask someone I'm close to for advice etc
Don't really know if this falls under un-philosophical advice to your questions DK but then, this is what I reckon -
ReplyDelete1. Be as benevolent as you can with your compliments else the cold vibe you have for the person grows so much that you let the person stay rent free in that pretty head of yours, which; needless to say can be put to much better use like writing kickass blog posts.
2. If you're sure that the pro's outweigh the con's, just take the leap before the mind suggests otherwise. At the end of it, you'd either have astounding success or you'd have found out one more way of not going about it.
1. I couldn't give a genuine compliment if I felt that way so I'd probably be the petty one and ignore it. But if you reckon you could give a genuine compliment, go for it!
ReplyDelete2. Pros and cons have answered the question...do it! After all, you never know if it wil work out or not until you do it!
OH and just wanted to say Russell Peters is amazing!!! He is brilliantly funny! Especially love his "white people...you must hit your kids!"
ReplyDeleteHmm I'm wondering what's the reason behind this post..but mky brunette twin I'll answer your 'Chodaya Chinnam' :)...I never compliment anybody who doesn't deserve it and never hold back when they truly do...It doesn't matter what they did or who they mean to me...I'm complimenting something I like, if it in turn makes somebody else's day then great!!! About taking decisions, I'm not fickle at all...If I decide on something I get stuck to it like fevicol-ka-jood!!! How do I decide, nowadays I use this simple philosophy: If I don't it now, will I repent it later when I won't be able to do it? For example my shoes...If I don strut now can I do it when I'm ageing graceful and being the icon in cotton/chiffon sarees..no right? Simbal ;)
ReplyDelete1)I have hard time forgetting things. you can exercise your will and see what works for you.
ReplyDelete2) when in doubt about the choices,i always pick second, for if first was damn good, the second thought would not have come :)
Take care.
1. I dont let personal thought interfere with work or anything .. if someone has done good then I will congratulate them no matter what ... BUt on other side I DONT forget what bad they did or why we are not friends anymore .. That will always remain
ReplyDelete2. I am a bit of a stubborn person so first of all i dont decide on something immediately , i try to sleep on it but when I have made a decision then I go for it .. but I go with all heart .. the result if not the criteria its how much effort I have put in it which is the criteria.
Bikram's
Well a good thing is a good thing, be it from an enemy or a stranger. Go ahead, compliment :)
ReplyDeleteIf you are not sure of something, don't do it. If not, you'll keep asking yourself questions again.
My malayalam is improving, thanks you your posts. I was wondering what the title meant until I saw the picture! So much for being a Bangalorean mallu :P
Go ahead and compliment, not because they're nice, but because you're nice. :) They may or may not accept it, but at least you won't be the lesser person. Oh, and if possible, make sure there's an audience when you pass the compliment. ;)
ReplyDeleteI wish I could answer the second question, but I happen to be one of those who is perpetually confused about what I myself should do,let alone advise others. :/
Russell Peters is amazing! That bastard is a racist and manages to get away with it! I love that routine of his where he makes fun of African names. Hilarious! "His name had a click in it! Imagine what that must do for his sex life!" :D :D :D
Wow! quite a chodya chinnum indeed! Well, lets see if I can make sense of the heavy duty questions here.
ReplyDelete1) When the something you are about to do is for the betterment of loved ones/you yourself/humanity at large/the atmosphere/ universe...(you get it, right?) then JUST DO IT!
2) Some people deserve the cold shoulder. So unless these people have suddenly developed halos or wings, or have done something like the acts mentioned in point 1, go be your bitchy best!!
1)Revenge.
ReplyDeleteI won't be able to satisfy me unless I am done taking my revenge. I would, hence, take it by giving a Royal Ignore to see if it matters to him/her if i care. That won't only open my eyes even more, but my heart too for other people to look upto rather than that one person who wrote something abotu me and tried to win my heart. Either read it and appreciate it, or don't read it and act like it never existed. Or maybe just a Thankyou would serve it. Doing good doesn't always buy us happiness but other the liberty to take our emotions for granted at times.
2)Impulse is what I call it. DO IT in a blink! And forget about the outcomes. Just forget it. Maybe it be making up to the friend who wrote that note for you above. JUST DO IT when you know you want to do it deep inside.
well, i have tried complimenting them even if my heart is not upto it at the time, but i ve found out that later, that was the right thing to do
ReplyDeleteand as for the second, every thing is such a thing for me, i ve learnt to go with my first instincts without any analysis
Hmm interesting...
ReplyDelete1) If i despise someone that much then i really don't care what they do or don't do or what they achieve in their life. Ill help when needed but rest of the time am indifferent. I would compliment but I wont go overboard with it. Real life experience - I tried being the bigger person once, but it backfired. And i got stabbed in the back by that person. So now I definitely think twice.
2) I'd do it! Because that way ill get an answer once and for all. I can't stand uncertainty.
most mallus wont care if someone they despise manage to accomplish something brilliant...
ReplyDeletethey will mostly turn a blind eye to it....
that's malayalee for yu.....!!!!!!
personally i belive we shud appreciate whatever gud things we come across in life......whether ts done by the person who love/hate the most shud nt matter
You know, I was told this today and I needed to hear it. It might help you.. it however is philosophical :) Sorry :P
ReplyDelete"When you try your best,and yet have a rough day
When luck betrays,and nothing comes your way.
Your mind and spirit will still be at truce,
If the Man in the Glass agrees and approves."
:) Just do what you feel like is right at that moment. :)
Best of luck. :) :*
For those of you who have checked back to see if I have replied, I apologize for being late, thank you all for your input and yes, they did help, a lot. A majority of y'all said go ahead and compliment, they deserve it. Some felt that there is no point being 'fake'.
ReplyDeleteI went ahead and congratulated them. They replied decently. That's it. What I was expecting I don't know, but it gave me no satisfaction. What it DID give was a strange feeling of anti-climax. Meh.
As for the decision I had to make, I decided to do it. And then? It got cancelled. So much for finally having had the balls to do something like it-_-
@ maithili, all hail kindred soul!!:D
@ Reicha, your 'I dislike' theory made a lot of sense to me.
@ Psych Babbler, "somebody gonna get a hurta real bad":D
@ Pinx, happenings during the month that had me reeling with confusion, that's all:D
@ Soumya, my hard work on getting my own Malayalam right is paying off, I s'pose:D
@ Divya, LOL, he is:P How does he not get shot in the head, I don't know:D
And what was the name? 'Kobe' or something na?
I really miss you on FB btw:|
@ nikhimenon, it's not just mallus, it's people in general. Some care. Some just don't.
@ Srinidhi, i loved the lines, lyrics?
Peevee: :) No. :) My friend writes poetry. :) this is from his poem "The man in the glass." :) It just suited the questions you asked :)
ReplyDeletehttp://promethean-parth.blogspot.com/
Link to his blog. :) In case you want to read the whole poem :)
Oh thanks! Off to check it out now:)
ReplyDelete