10 September, 2011

A Text Was All It Took For Me To Grow Up

Note to the unwise budding journalists of my class: I like being right. I love being right. I revel in being right. I consider being right my birthright. Now that we have established that, you have any more questions/statements/updates to make?

You know that moment?

The one in which something small happens to piss you off in a big way, like, in a instant?
The one that makes you go from 0 to 100 on a rage scale of 1-10?

Yep, that one when you literally want to kill somebody out of frustration, so much so that you can't find ways to express the rage.

I got a text recently which did that to me.


Here I was tralala-ing on my bed, thinking happy thoughts (about food, what else:P) and reveling in the freedom of a four-day weekend away from the nut-house that my college has turned into...
And BAM! along comes a text to ruin it all.
(Ok, it wasn't BAM exactly, more like a ting! that's my text tone. You get the point:|)

Anyhoo, along comes the text and it was like having a bucket of icy cold water WITH ice cubes to match dumped on me when I'm stretched out on a towel on a beach in Honolulu sipping on summer sangria, getting a nice even tan and basically minding my own business. 

I was hurt, mad, insulted and supremely pissed off for it was sent after I tried extending an olive branch.
To top it all off, the sender was a person I'd respected in spite of their intermittent immature behavior.

My instant reaction was to type out a reply, equally scathing with full intention of raping the recipient verbally (which is the one English-speaking related skill that serves me well) and have my honor restored while claiming revenge.

But then I paused.

This, my dear readers, occurs rarely never.
The impulsive, fiery fool that I am, I always look three hours after I leaped off the cliff and am lying sprawled face-down, Wile Coyote style.

But this time I paused.
And I reflected.
And I when did reply, it was decently. Calmly.

I realized that replying in the same tone of what I received would make me no different than the sender. I realized that I was brought up differently.

People have been asking me to grow up and be mature all the time .
I think I just did.

I am inordinately proud of myself for having exercised such awesome self-control, please let me go yadayada this once. I'll make it worth your while next time:P 
Have you gotten texts like that? How do you deal with it?


P.S: Yes, I'm venting. I have never been good with bottling it all inside and venting elsewhere will have disastrous consequences.
P.P.S: If I was confusing at any point, it was because I was trying to be diplomatic.
P.P.S.S: For people who wonder, I have no problems naming the sender but this post was about me growing up, so that part wasn't important enough.

55 comments:

  1. :) what was the text? p.s- i love the way you write :)

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  2. BAM!! Right on the nuts..or whatever :-P One helluva venting eh :-D

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  3. I kinda had the exact same realization a couple of years back...

    There was this person whom i hated to the core, and we were lashing out at each other.. with a volley of texts back and forth, when i suddenly decided I'd stop. The other person kept on sending more texts trying to provoke me.. thinking that my 'silence' meant I accepted defeat..
    But like you said, in that moment i suddenly "grew up" and I kept up my dignified silence and its the proudest moment of my life (err... one of them)

    Some people can be real immature a**es. One of us has to grow up. Just be glad its us :|

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  4. I actually really admire you for being able to do that! I think if someone is sending you scathing texts then they shouldn't have your number!

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  5. GaWD.. You know what, I believe in Karma.. I believe that no matter how insignificant the cause is.. but if am hurt then Karma will definitely kick my enemy's bum at right intensity :D so, I just chill back .. maintaining composure and pretending to be that good girl.. hehe.. I appreciate the way you have managed yourself Priyanka!! Cheer up girl!! :)

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  6. So proud of you babe! :)
    I guess very few people can do that..
    What goes around comes around.. :)
    Just let it go and let time heal.. if that person was really meant to be in your life, they def will be otherwise just bid adieu to them and move on with the journey of ur life.. :) ..

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  7. Well..i have had such experience.. but i dont know why, how or what exactly went wrong.. i started laughing when i received the text.. i felt it was so immature of that person to still hold the grudge and come back for more.. i dint reply anything.. instead just sent a smiley and good night back.. well.. that was the end of it.. havent spoken to that person since.. but it did makesme feel good that i kept my dignity.. and that i did try and make peace:) the rest... guess i can live that :) :) :D

    you did the right thing girl...!!
    Cheers..!!

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  8. Come on Priyanka tell us the text msg atleast. TELL US TELL US TELL US!!( I hope i did not sound too persuasive) :p

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  9. 1) I like the simile part of the post, the way you made comparison is really interesting.
    2) my favorite is the P.P.S.S it was a little diplomatic :)
    3) Regarding how i deal with such situation, i think 98% times i do what you did this time because soon i found that replying in their tone will drag me to their low level only, so better be calm and patient :)

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  10. Oh! I am sure I would have replied. Total fail on controlling anger, though it comes rare. But honestly, I get only Santa-banta and Rajnikant jokes which have become obsolete being mercilessly circulated on FB :|
    FYI, I never diss on text. I can like inspire the hell out of people. You should see me texting you :P

    aJ

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  11. :-)

    The best way in such a situation is to ignore. Getting no reaction from you even after repeated provocation is equal to (if not much more than) a full blown punch to the solar plexus for the other person.

    And a decent and calm reply does the work equally well. There's nothing more irritating for a person who's dying to pick a fight with you. :-)

    And like they say, "Never wrestle with a pig—you get dirty and the pig likes it". (I feel sad to be dragging pigs into this, because they are much better than such people. :-/)

    You did the right thing. :-)

    About the learning-Urdu thing, just get familiar with the Urdu alphabet. The letters correlate with the sounds that they produce. You can check it out here :

    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_KEmSwjyqCHc/S68b8C7ryXI/AAAAAAAAACk/IbjrbFuarBg/s1600/Urdu_alphabets.png

    Once you have got the hang of the alphabet, you can go on to learn how to combine them to produce words. You can get an idea from here :

    http://www.ukindia.com/zurdu1.htm

    Hope it helps. Let me know if it's confusing. :-)

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  12. Oh that happens with me SO MANY TIMES Priyanka!
    But i tell you what? You retaliated in the best manner. At times when i am done sending a frustrating text to a friend, i expect to be retaliated in the same way, but in case thet don't reply or send 'Okay' to me. It frustrates me even more. So yes, just don't reply or send 'Oh okay'. And it's gonna bring a whole to new disaster at their place wihtout you being all this exhausted after writing one abusive text cause 'oh okay' just did it's job. :P

    Try it. You'll love yourself even more. xD

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  13. Well, calling you sensible doesn't seem like a wrong move. At all :D

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  14. woaaaaahhhh!!! i might have called and kicked in the nuts, but now, even i would ignore :)

    bliss it is to stay silent at times :)

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  15. Bearhugs!!
    My Appuppan told me yesterday to learn from the people around me.I start from you.This is something i need to learn :(
    I am soooo good at sarcastic replies esp when angry..but it backstabs me.
    I laughed so hard at the sangria summer line!

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  16. Good thing u grew up... I'm yet to do so.... :(
    P.S-amazed by ur comic touch-ups...

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  17. @ bhuvnesh rohilla, I would have put it up but it wouldn't make sense to y'all since you don't know the full issue:)
    Thanks:)

    @ Varun, thanks eh;P Oh, uknoiluryt?:*

    @ Chandana, bravo:) You got control baby:) It took me 21 years to get here but I finally have arrived:D

    @ Hazel, now I actually wish I'dn't given it out:| Thanks:)

    @ Ananya, lol, karmically speaking, hopefully somebody else will do EXACTLY what she did to me:) *fingers crossed* Thanks:)

    @ Viya, thanks:) it's a newly learned skill;P
    It has too. Hopefully ot'll come around soon enough:P

    @ Superrrnickkk, awesome that you were able to keep your cool. yes, it gives you the satisfaction of having kept your dignity:) Thanks:)

    @ Ginger, aman, :P Like I said, I would have but it wouldn't make sense, since y'all don't know the complete issue:)

    @ Reicha Ahluwalia,thank you so much:) glad you liked it..
    Yes, it does seem to be the better option:D

    @ aJ, your still better, atleast the anger is rare:P I have a real short temper and almost literally jump around when I'm pissed off which is why this is a wonderful time for me:P

    :P now, is THAT true?

    @ Shobhit, yes, totally true. I'm going to make it my mantra from now:D

    Haha, brilliant quote.

    Oh wow. At cursory glance, that looks like a lot of work and I don't get head or tail of it:) Let me get down and dirty with the letter and I'll let you know how it goes. Thank you so very much!

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  18. @ KN., oh now I get it, that what my bf does to piss me off during an argument:P Just the 'k' or the 'ok' message drives me crazy. Brilliant idea man:D
    Thanks\m/

    @ Sushmit, I'd love to say thank you and accept the compliment but this was an exception rather than the rule:P

    @ Chintan, believe me, I wanted to:D

    @ Red Handed, your appuppan is a very wise man, but you know that already:D Sarcasm feels better then, I get it but try this once, you'll feel like a wise, yogi who did good to the world:P Trust me:)
    And thanks:P

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  19. I'm not saying this just for saying-something sake Pv, but I genuinely know how it feels like when you get a text that takes you from sober to furious in 2 seconds. I got one from a friend almost a year back, although we were not on talking terms, but still, a text like that was not expected out of her. well, it took me more than 2 seconds because it was a long long text, and needless to say, I have not talked to her ever since.

    I did not reply. It is highly unlikely for me, but I didn't. It hurt me so bad that my mind shouted 'she des not even deserve a reply'.

    You were dignified enough and thats all that matters :)

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  20. hehe, THAT, is true, and awesome, and once in a lifetime opportunity LOL

    aJ

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  21. Aww, Dinkachika, Look at you all grown up :D.

    You know what this reminds of, your post on changes and how you were wary of them, see how you've taken out a positive from a change. I hope and pray that you do this every single time.

    Cheers :)

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  22. I ignore them for a while. As in I don't reply.
    It takes them a while before they reply and apologize. =D

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  23. Congratulations! It does take a lot of self-restraint to respond in a similar manner (esp when it's via text/email). I am not an impulsive person but I have had moments of extreme rage where I have said things I regret later. You took the high road in this situation and that is likely to make the other person feel a lot smaller. So good on you! :)

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  24. Dignified answer :) You know its great to take the dignified silent way. But I honestly have done that for so long, I miss the scathing responses I want to often give. :D

    Still, I find being silent often annoying. :D

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  25. WELL DONE Peevee... I think YES that was very mature behavior..

    P.S. Yeah, have got such texts which got me all mad...but then there were times I acted stupid and replied rudely and there have been instances where I've kept my calm. The latter's any day better. Venting out stuff is great. Makes you feel so much better.

    P.P.S. I aint confused

    P.P.S.S. Naming the person isn't going to do any good. Your right this is about you, so why care!

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  26. OUCH. It happens, leaving a lasting impression, I have been on the receiver's side and that, milady, did hurt!
    Ignoring and moving on is the key, you did the right thing. Grown-ups-Hi-five :)

    Love, Risha :)

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  27. Whoa! You are cool.
    I would have called the person and let him know what I think of him/her.

    I wish I get a txt msg that makes me grow up =p
    Cheers, Have a great week ahead!

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  28. Hey PV..Happened to reach your blog after reading some random blogs and I must say I'm more than pleasantly surprised...love your style of writing BTW..As I was reading this post I kinda had this freaky feeling.. a) We have the same first names b) Our signatures are kinda similar c) I started back blogging with a post titled very similar to your blog d) The last re-confessor on your blog shares the name with my BF and finally e) I planned to write a post on exactly the samething that you just did: growing up... I didn't get a text or anything but something came up at work and I was surprised that the inordinately proud and volatile me who has been told to grow up so many times in the past just suddenly grew up and showed phenomenal retraint...

    I'm not a firm believer in co-incidences but what do you think? and oh have a look at my last post..how many shoegasms this time ;-)?

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  29. It's okay, but do you want us to just sympathize or would want us on your side cursing the person destroying his afterlife? If the answer is yes, 'What was in the text?'.
    And even in that fit of rage, you did not smash your phone? The intensity with which you have written this post, it looked like you had set the house on fire and merely smirked.
    Did someone tell you that the 4 day weekend had been shortened to a few hours and you are required to report in for a compulsory extra class?
    If that's the case, you have my full support.


    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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  30. i dont get into fights...for the simple reason...i'm too lazy to do that....if somebody fights with me in person also...i would automatically get distracted to a far away world!! its soo boring!!! haa!! there are so many good things to do other than being angry and fighting and insulting...if somebody does that to me and if i am really not at fault....then i am too bored to reply back....i just take a heavy sigh and go back to do what i do best!:D yeaah!! that lazzyyy!!!

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  31. I.G.N.O.R.E. That's the mantra to follow.

    I had to deal with abusive(and when I say abusive, I mean ABUSIVE!) texts till not so long ago, and I had to finally tell the person that I'll file a case against him. Even then it didn't stop. Some people just are like that. Thick-skinned and spiteful.

    So I ignored. And still continue to.

    Need I mention that it was a bad break-up?

    But the reason why I ignored was not because I couldn't or that I was afraid to, but because I just didn't think it was worth my time. I didn't retaliate because I've read somewhere that "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all". And also because, like you said, retaliating in the same manner would mean that there's no difference between me and him.

    And I'm pretty sure that if he reads this comment anytime (which is most likely, because he's a blogger too and follows some of the blogs that I do too), he'll text me again saying the same things.

    And I will still I.G.N.O.R.E.

    Maybe some day I should write about the whole thing.

    Sorry. :/

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  32. You have successfully taken what is known as the High Road. Bravo, well done! Now if you can only manage do it every other time you're pissed off... :D

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  33. oh priyanka, honey you've no idea how very often that happens. but i dunno i usually plan to kill the person with mere words but i'm too humble to do that:S and i hate that. cuz people tend to take advantage of what they think is innocence, but what actually is just tolerance...

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  34. mmm...when i get such texts...i multiply it by 10 and reply :P... i wonder what was the text...

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  35. I think you did do a pretty good thing to not lower yourself to their standards :) things like this have happened to me before, and I haven't always risen above it. Usually though it's more fun when you don't because it just makes them angrier ^_^ Forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them more :P

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  36. You know what, my anger has ruined a lot of things, so I decided, I would write, paint, sing whatever but not pay any attention to the person who manages to anger me. I ignore them. However, it becomes hard if the person is with you. Then it's like you wish you could kill them. As Ananya said though, "What goes around, comes around." I hope that Stud over there (Yeah, our God) will kick the pain in the arses and give them their own share of "Grow-Up" dudes! :D :D Nice Post! :D :D

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  37. Hmmm.. It happens. And it happened few times with me in College. Like everyone said, ignorance is bliss! But it gets too much out of control, then.. I am not sure if my above statement holds good! :) Anyway, liked the way you presented it ..

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  38. Newbie here, thanks for dropping by my blog.

    Hah! Your post got me chuckling hard. In a good way. Best solution: Ignorance is bliss. Glad your reply was a steady-headed one. Albeit, a little nosy to know what the sms and reply was all about. You got all of us excited to know :D

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  39. @ Serendipity, 'she does not deserve a reply' - true that:)

    @ aJ, I'm starting to think I can apply the quote I wrote in one of the previous posts might apply after all:D

    @ Atrocious Scribblings, DON'T CALL ME THAT:D I lost it yesterday, so there it all goes down the line:| Hopefully I'll learn over a period of time.

    @ Ovais, what if they don't? What if they think they are right? Then what?

    @ Psych Babbler, thank you:) extreme rage sounds just about right.

    @ Srinidhi, it is, actually. Though you are all Saint Mary, holier than thou, you still feel cheated out of a good, strong screaming match, no?:D

    @ confused soul, thanks you nice person, you. Glad you keep track of my numerous post scripts:D

    @ Risha Kalra, :D HI5 babayyyy!!

    @ HBL, I want to. I SO want to.
    Maybe you will:P

    @ The DRAGON in the skin of a goat, that has my curiosity PIQUED to say the least and your blog is currently open in another tab. Heading over...

    @ BA, on my side cursing the person destroying his afterlife, if you please:D
    The Text, everyone asks. I risk loss of life if I put it up after 'a certain Incident' yesterday. Do I dare? ;D
    I took all that intensity and put it into the post which is why my phone is still intact.. See, growing up. Rly.
    Nope. Unfortunately, it was much worse. Thanks though:D

    @ HijiBijBij, now THAT's a good reason to be lazy. See, you stay out of trouble:)

    @ Spiff, MY MY MY. And I thought I had it bad. Maybe you should. Write about it someday i.e. But isn't it annoying when it still persists after so long?

    @ sumitra, yes, that's the problematic part:P

    @ the butterfly effect, too humble? No, no no. Their butts should be kicked SOMEtimes.

    @ cricketfreak, thank you, you sweet little thing, you:)

    @ Muhammad Israr, it wasn't for lack of want, that much I can assure you of:)

    @ Mark, :D annoys them more eh? *evil laugh*

    @ MSM, bravo, man, well-put:D I hope the 'Dude' does too:P

    @ Sunil Padiyar, thank you:)

    @ FashionPhD,aww:) I made it from scratch, thank you for noticing:))

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  40. That was some venting of anger. And looks like you handled it the right way. Once wrote a poem about the other side of things though.. a long time back..

    http://ajournalcalledlife.blogspot.com/2007/09/winds-of-hurt-and-hatred-blew-my-heart.html

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  41. People tell me to grow up all the time! :)
    But then, at a point all of us are mature in our own ways :)

    Thank You for your comment. I'm glad you liked my poem!
    Happy Blogging =)

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  42. restrain...serves well sometimes....and pausing and thinking and then responding....for a change...would you do it again in a similar fashion if it happens again? :)

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  43. @ Sunitha, :) heading over asap..

    @ philo, entirely my pleasure:)

    @ Kunal, I want to. But given my track record, doubtful if I will:) Which is why this was a profound moment:)

    @ Ovais, :D that's simple..

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  44. I kinda know what you mean...But then again, I usually prefer a very poetically insulting reply...Feels much better... :D

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  45. @ Rohith J, coincidentally, my brother's name is Rohith as well:)
    Poetically insulting? :P Wow. You make it sound so much fun.

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  46. I am habituated to writing post scripts and I like all yours, as many as there are :P

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  47. This came up on the linkwith thing, so I was like let me read itt :D
    Oooh,I know the feeling, and hahahaha, I do the sarcastic english-ly raping them thing too! =D
    But yes, the past days, a lot of horrible shit happened, and so many people pissed me beyond the erm, walls, beyond my limit of taking shit, which is a LOT :|, but like you said, I erased what I was going to say, and then sent a polite reply. Because I am not like them. *hi-5*
    Also, impulsive as crazy = me too! :|

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  48. Self control in such situations is crucial, but SO HARD!

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Whatchu thinkin'?