I lay crying for a long time. A long, long time. For the first time in years, I felt like a failure. His shirt was drenched through and yet my tears didn’t cease.
And he spoke not a word.
Amidst my gut-wrenching sobs, I wished he wouldn’t give me any space now, I wished he would do something to cheer me up, to say that I am wrong to think such things, that I ain’t no failure.
But he spoke not a word.
His comforting presence and the aroma of his woody soap reminded me of all that I had, all that I am. I finally found solace in the fact that even if I had nothing else, I had him. I might be a failure but for now I had him.
And that made up for a lot of things.
My sniffles died down and I cracked a reluctant smile... I’d always been this mercurial in my moods swings. One good cry and I could always put it behind and try to get back on the figurative horse. The darkness ebbed as I found courage in the flimsiness of the proof that showed I was a failure.
He finally pulled my face to his and forced me to look at him.
Fresh tears threatened to brim out at the weight of his unrelenting, almost harsh, gaze when he firmly said…
“That is enough. You’re perfect. And you’re mine.”
The problems weren’t solved, the darkness still remained, I was still afraid of the ghosts that haunted me but I knew I was not alone. That someone had faith in me.
“When everything is made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am”
P.S: Fiction after a long, long time. Not perfect, not even close. But I’m glad I tried.
What can I say, the Goo Goo Dolls are inspirational.